On Being a Happily Married Man.

The other day someone commented, “You are a happily married man”.

I've been thinking about this some. Yes, I believe this statement is true, and I would offer the following regarding how this may have come about.

First of all, without any negative reflection upon any one else, I find my happiness, or contentment in the Lord. This comes about because God in His grace has owned me as His Own and turned my heart towards Him through Christ, to own Him as My God. The last commandment, “You shall not covet . . .”, rephrased as, “find contentment in God and what He give us”, is key to my happiness. Along with this is a line which Christ quotes from the OT, ESV Mat 4:4 But he answered, "It is written, "' Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"

As I do not practice the above to perfection, the happiness of my heart is often in fluctuation. In other words, I am not perfectly, absolutely happy. This is a confession of my sinfulness and of my lack of finding fulfillment in my God and Savior.

A second point, contributing to my happiness, is my wife. For her I am greatly thankful. Now she too is subject to the same weaknesses that I expressed in point number one. My reason for saying this is simply to express that she is not absolutely happy all the time either. With the blessing of the Lord she makes a major contribution to my happiness as she too seeks to walk with the Lord. She is, however, not my happiness.

Third, in general my children and grandchildren add to my happiness. Some of our children walk with the Lord, while others do not. This does effect my happiness, yet the more I find God, as the all-that-I-need-one, the less I find other people influencing the state of my heart. Again, moment by moment I do have my ups and downs. Without going into any details, both my wife and I agree that what struggles and hurts we have been handed have been for our good.

Fourth, God's Word say (Philippians 2:12,13) “to work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you . . .” In my heart, I have had to work and work, lest sin and the flesh overwhelm me. Being a happily married man has not been a natural occurrence or an accident, but is the fruit of a deliberate walk with the Lord and of His blessing.

Almost lastly, I am finding, praise be to the Lord, that I am maturing spiritually over time. There has been more unhappiness in the past, and the struggle is not over. While, to some minor degree others may have played some part regarding my lack of happiness, as I reflect upon these situations, I must confess that my heart was not upon the Lord. I would even think to blame him from time to time. There is not happiness there.

And now, lastly, as a human being I do not know what the rest of this day will hold. I am supposed to pick up some milk on the way home, a certain brand and a certain percent milk. Will I? Will I be able to? Will I have a wife and family to go home to? There are many other what-if's. Therefore, I will say, “The Lord willing”. That is my joy and happiness. The Lord.

Pastoring

Pastoring is shepherding. Shepherding implies at least two things.

First, the sheep can not make it on their own. They need help and a portion of help comes in the form of a shepherd. One must remember that it is the Lord who both declares that there is a need and also supplies the fix. While it might be humbling to acknowledge not just that the church is needy but that I have a need, we ought to be comforted in understanding that we all share Adam's nature.

The need is met in and through the Lord providing a shepherd. The Scriptures define this shepherd as an under-shepherd of the Chief Shepherd who is none other than Christ the Lord. An humbling point for the shepherd to remember is that he too is a sheep, and as a sheep he too share in human weakness and must also follow the Shepherd as well. Doesn't our Lord do things in an interesting manner? Yet, he also supplies the shepherd with the gifts that he needs to shepherd other sheep. If there is good shepherding going on, we must first, and above all, give thanks to the Lord.

A problem arises when the sheep see the weakness of the shepherd and despise him. A solution that is offered in Scripture is to pray for one another, to admonish and encourage one another. This includes praying for our under-shepherd. Obedience, not blind obedience to the shepherd, but cheerful, trusting obedience to The Shepherd, on the part of the sheep is something of great encouragement to the under-shepherd.

ESV Heb 13:17 Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.

ESV 3Jo 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

ESV Luk 22:26 But not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves.