On being a single parent

First, I am not a single parent and the experience I am about to relay in this blog is no attempt to pretend that I have been a single parent.

My wife was away for 15 days. While this was not the first time she had left me to be with our older children to help with a new grandchild, this trip marked a few transitions for us. A few months ago we put Mom in a home. I had always been more or less tied down to the house, unless someone was there to watch her during previous absences on my wife's part.

Our youngest, now almost sixteen has helped out with the duties of watching her grandma, and once in a while we would have another lady watch her if we both had to be away. This time it just our youngest and myself! Freedom!!??

Well, in the name of honesty we did allow some cleaning to slide until the last couple of days, but the house did not turn into a total disaster, as we did do a few daily chorus. Also, with unlimited calling as well as the internet we were not cut off from contact with mom. And as a father of four daughters I have come to accept that dads just can not fill the role when a daughter calls and asks “Is mom there?”

Our baby, and I knew this ahead of time, has a few activities to which her mom usually drives her. Ok, I thought no problem. Then there is something referred to as father-daughter relationship. Daughters do need to be communicated with, given attention, cooked for, encouraged, corrected and just plan have some time with their parents. A note, covering all 15 days, posted on the refrig just would not do the job.

So having this delightful creature around meant something to me … “You have a daughter and for the time being you are her only parent within normal speaking range!”

What would change in my schedule, in my carefully crafted list of priorities? Work time? ME TIME? How important to me was it that I had a daughter to parent? What sacrifices would I make for her well being?

Certainly, if, in the will of God, my wife would be taken from us, this issue of being a single parent would become all too real, close and personal. How would I do? I know that I am thankful to the Lord for my wife, the mother of our children, for all her parenting. And I acknowledge that she can not be replaced, but if she were not here, I would be called upon to make permanent changes in my life. What would I be willing to give up? To change? Permanently, or at least until she got a few years older, to take her places, parent her, do father-daughter things and time, and not to let our relationship deteriorate into that of being isolated housemates?

My hat is off to all single parents who have taken this responsibility well. May the Lord give you grace day to day.